TONIGHT!: Well, Will You At Least Lick My Balls? – Sex In The City Season 1
Sex In The City – I’m Not In Love
High school had its massive down days, and the only high I did get was watching adult TV shows on cable TV. Being from New York but not yet of age or financial status to do remotely anything they did was fun to watch and take notes. Not many of my then teen associates watched Sex In The City because they didn’t have cable, or it just wasn’t their thing. I enjoyed this show to the extent that I had forgotten long ago. I am behind, and before I watch the latest and most fantastic series, I have to start from the beginning.
This show was fantastically entertaining and successfully soured my chances of having a healthy relationship. Right out the gate, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stand Carrie, the ring leader of the souls she’s imprisoned. In trying to remember the occupations of these women, I honestly thought they were all automatically rich and pretended to do things that looked like work for fun.
With my recent viewing of this very dated show, I now recall that Carrie is a terrible fucking writer and woman in general who betrays her friend’s trust for material to write about. Miranda was the pale, combative little bulldog that I liked second to Samantha. Samantha, to me, had severe issues that I think more light is shed upon in later episodes. Charolette was like snow white to me, but she liked to fuck.
The men introduced in the first season were all handsome and still had a lot of late 1990s dust on them, be it hairstyles or clothes; it was painful. I remember the sex scenes always getting me in trouble because they were so over the fucking top and loud. Total misrepresentation of an act that really can be phenomenal.
I have little takeaways here and there. I will not review each episode, and I will briefly state my favorite part of the episode next to the episode name.
1 – Sex and the City – I have had “sex” like a man and still do
2 – Models and Mortals – This is just “New York” typical
3 – Bay of Married Pigs – Married people are weird in general. You got married to own this person (instead of for combined financial gain or, Satan forbid – love) and then decide “we” should only have married friends because uncommitted people’s genitals are sweet berry wine; tempting to taste on sight. What the fuck
4 – Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys – Why look good and act dumb?
5 – The Power of Female Sex – This was about many things. It confirmed Carrie is a dumb whore who had to ask her friends if she should keep $1,000
6 – Secret Sex – Yeah, been there
7 – The Monogamists – Miranda was a dick in this one. Well, will you at least lick my balls?
8 – Three’s a Crowd – Threesome episode with no threesome
9 – The Turtle and the Hare – That guy got mad pussy. Getting addicted to a vibrater is stupid
10 – The Baby Shower – Why did she want to show off her tits at nine months pregnant? Did that cab driver drive her to Connecticut?
11 – The Drought – Fuck out of here
12 – Oh Come All Ye Faithful – Samantha’s got a lil’ dick man, Charolette went to a tarot reader, Miranda is a weird bitch, and Carrie is a dumb bitch for not going on fucking vacation for free. He’s not sure about your dumbass and you refusing to go was validation.