Exorcising Demons With ID! Days 401 to 450
Day 401
Fresh from winter break, the first thing I wanted to do was go shopping, and it was the least I could do to eat all the food out of boredom while we were all home.
It’s a win-win. I get my 10,000+ steps in for the day, and the boys have a well-stocked fridge and pantry full of goodies. During my shopping time, I get to talk to my favorite person on earth, my future husband and best friend, Kenny, about whatever we want because we’re just that fucking cool.
I reemerged into yoga beautifully. For now, this will be the only routine I participate in. Adding more to the plate aggravates things.
Day 402
Being part of the early risers club is fantastic when you’ve got first dibs on the freshest doughnuts and coffee. I don’t have doughnuts, but I do have decent coffee when everyone else is still sleeping.
Yoga is still going great, and I like the morning time to do it. That might all change in the coming weeks, but I can find a way to adjust and not stop at it.
I’ve applied to countless jobs, and soon I have an interview until later in the afternoon. I’m beginning to make waves under my roof, which couldn’t have come sooner. Some of us need to be forced to learn how to swim. Although it will initially be bumpy, things will balance. The love of my life will still be there with me in spirit, and we’ll talk just as lovers do. In the same instance, they’re also on their way to getting a fancy pansy nine-to-five., just like me. The 3-hour difference could make it better for our movie dates. The time of the day that I look forward to.
Day 403
Today is the pre-game show.
There is only a little I must prepare for besides the travel length. This job is worth it; being on the North Shore could make or break me.
It’ll make me.
I’ll only get broken when my back gets blown out while watching Columbo.
Day 404
I went there!
On the move to improve my current status as a stay-at-home mother to something where I can make a living wage. I plunged back into the real world and dusted off my rusty social skills to convince regular folk that I needed money to fuel my addiction to streaming services.
Three city buses and two hours later, I reached my destination, which was placed on a small island surrounded by homes of the solid and inert. When it was close enough to the time they were expecting me, I saw what I considered sights and shared the experience with a loved one. Once it was time to go inside and ask who I was there to see, I could tell immediately that this wasn’t the place for me. I am not a snob or feel that I am above anyone. The first strike was my need for more speedy transportation and the funds to attain it. The second was the office helpers, who knew what they were doing. It’s just that they couldn’t figure out what I was doing there. Neither did I. No matter, and I gave them what I was there to provide them. I got on the first bus back home, getting myself treats.
Proud day. Many more to come.
Day 405
I am excited about the weekend! Why? Well, for obvious reasons.
I get to sleep in for a little longer. Not that I’ve been tired. This week has been great since my prompt awakening at 5 am. No more fucking around and being pissed off for waking up at such an hour. My yoga routine is still going strong, and I love it. It isn’t what I want to do but what my body needs. I can do all that hopping around shit to sweat out the pain within me later.
I’ll just relax and eat the rest of my cold stone creamery and not give a fuck as usual.
Day 406
Saturday started with a welcoming call from a man I call my own, who called to hear my voice and tell me he loves me.
How fucking cool is that?
Oh, I didn’t tell you.
I’m in love.
Literally.
I’m giving you the idea that I’m the Webster’s Dictionary definition of love when it’s much more than that. Very easy to explain but incomprehensible for you to understand until you’ve experienced it yourself. I’d compare it to my favorite movie.
The remainder of the day, after yoga, is to keep busy. I don’t just find things to do; I do something I’m already into, just not finished doing.
Day 407
Starting late on Sundays feels right.
Since I don’t drive, I have nowhere to go—such a handicap. The weather could be better for taking a stroll or a hike—no sights to see or discoveries to make, and staying inside.
I’ve been used to this and all of this for a long time, and I need to get out of that habit.
Day 408
My mornings are much brighter in my underground home, and I am filled with light every second of every day since I found the other half that Zeus tore from my side. The only word that describes love is love, and this transcends the word beyond the end of the universe. It’s an elegant feeling, and like getting onion rings with your order of fries. But bigger.
Before I fully forgo back into my journey to the Hustle World, I am keeping up the habit of going shopping after dropping off the kids at school. It is a great workout, but I can also listen to whatever I please and focus on a few things. I pay close attention to the terrain and imagine how it will be when I live somewhere else that isn’t on northern soil.
Day 409
Cold mornings have even colder days and nights.
Being born and raised on the east coast has prepared you for odd and Inclement weather. It is also an east coast thing when you don’t enjoy it in any capacity. The key is to know how to dress for it.
Morning yoga is super and puts my body in a great space from waking up. I have been stiff in places, and getting up and getting started for the day helps me breathe air back into some deflated parts.
Day 410
I’m coming hot off the heels of two films I need desperately to move on from my memory.
The first was Necromantik, one I was shocked but not surprised that it was a German film. Thankfully I watched other German horror pieces that also needed a warning before the movie would begin. As I told a friend, “The powerful ending was a release, one of many.
The other was Skinner, a cut-and-dry “nut in normal white man clothing” piece. Traci Lords served fantastic face and all the time talking to herself. Ricki Lake was Danny Llyod’d and wasn’t told she was in a horror movie. And I finally put a face to the correct name of the Rami’s.
Those two films were extreme and belong to the categories they were created under. Tonight I chose to see a kick-ass, dated piece with Michelle Yeoh and Cynthia Rothrock that I have wanted to see for a long time. It was worth the wait.
Day 411
Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum…
I awakened to the day, ready for the hours ahead and how a moment would be well-spent. Yoga with Adrianne is going wonderfully well. She is funny and energetic, with an energy unique to her tone and style of yoga. I don’t find it challenging to start the mornings with her, or even early afternoons are okay as long as I show up.
The opening up is precisely what I needed to do before setting out. It was a half day of school for parent-teacher conferences, so to avoid going back home to go back out again, I made a mental checklist of what I could do to pass the time. So I did what I like to do the most, walk. I walked and picked up a few light items from local stores before the weekend. All the while listening to one of the greatest writers of all time, Anne Rice’s The Vampire Lestat. I ate and caffeinated on the go and knew all my restroom stops before I got on my teleconference. Once that was complete, I made my appointment and had a jovial conversation with another human being. Finally, it was off to pick up my bright shining star and get him a new pair of kicks that only got a pass if they sounded good tap dancing in.
Overall it was a long day, and I took the most steps in a long time. Almost no aches and pains afterward, good shoes contributed to that. Also, using my new waist trainer helps remind me that my posture is shit when I’m not paying attention.
Other happy notes of the day include my beloved closing on a place to lay his hat and video chatting with my lovely mug. The anticipation of our union is comparable to the birth of a star. Once our auras swirled around one another in a frenzy, we created a giant gas cloud. Then into a Protostar, producing extreme heat neither of us could fathom. We are in the T-Tauri Phase, which will last about 100 million years and release tremendous amounts of energy. Our star journey is still in its infancy, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t the most beautiful feeling in the universe.
Best is yet to come, and babe, won’t that be fine?
Day 412
The end of the week is here! Rest is an option because it never comes to me how I’d like it the most. I made the usual moves of sorting this and tending to that.
Not much to say about this day other than it began and ended with a smile on my face.
Day 413
Even though I have no real reason to be up early, I make it a good habit of being up before the kids get up. I only sometimes succeed, but I make an effort. This morning was an exception, and I missed an alarm I had intentionally set. I wanted to get a move on because it was visiting day. Drinking my water and getting my yoga in were the big things to do before their arrival.
Today has also given me a moment to think about the direction I want to go with my writing. I have many ideas, but it’s being held up in layaway, and I need funds to get them out. So I need to break in and steal them. I need a partner. Who’s with me on this heist?
Day 414
No day is wasted, even when I’m not doing anything at all. Yoga aside, I took a little time to listen to an audiobook, The Vampire Lestat, and let it take me away. I thought about cooking rather than actually doing it and made a list of the food to refill my pantry soon.
Dull ass day, and I loved every second of it.
Day 415
I like Mondays.
I get to take as much time as I need on Mondays and spoil myself in the process. Rising was easy, yoga was fulfilling and I got one more chapter ahead in IT. King is a good storyteller; he tells very long ones to those who like to listen. Rice is a phenomenal author. There is no comparison between the two other than their works being very easy to recreate cinematically. Lately, I have been obsessed with the two of them since I’m reading a book each by them at the time time. It reminds me of when I was younger and had a list of ride-or-die shows for which I had equal amounts of enthusiasm. I don’t have that kind of passion anymore because everything is ready to binge at a moment’s notice.
It was a good Monday.
All Mondays are good when I begin the day with his voice.
Day 416
Today was a cold and rainy one where business had to go on as usual.
As I approach the end of my 30 days of yoga practice with Adrianne, I am looking for other forms of exercise with more cardio and aerobics. The 80s aerobics was challenging, but I needed to be more consistent. Deciding what to do is easy, and once the weather is more gentle on the senses, I’ll put those steps in.
Day 417
Hump day!
I wish I were getting humped today.
Today is the eve of another scheduled meeting and I’ve decided to make it a day to walkabout. I’ve noted that yoga ends in less than ten days, so mentally preparing myself to get the wind knocked out of me after gulping down two bottles of water is a pain I am ready to endure.
Tonight I need to get a really good rest because tomorrow, I will walk my ass off.
Day 418
Time to slow down and enjoy this time of unlimited mobility that I may not have in the future. I finished another long chapter in the novel IT and completed one entire part and a half of The Vampire Lestat. This book club is fantastic, but I do have to thank the book club I was in before the pandemic. It was a great foundation where a tower now stands.
I did what I did best and went shopping for shit I didn’t need. Flower seeds to make a sprout smiley face, how-to craft books I hope will get used, and sweets I shouldn’t eat. I also gambled, which I shouldn’t be doing at all, considering I have no fucking money. You gotta play to win, right?
I trekked long in the cold and had a moment to rest at home until having to go back out again. That had me out for the count on the last return home for the day. I’ll recover, and tomorrow I won’t feel a thing.
Day 419
The end of the week hasn’t left me weak for the beginning of this weekend.
The usual cleaning was performed, along with some bureaucratic tasks that I procrastinated on completing because it’s dumb shit to do before we die. It’s one of many on a very long list. The biggest task is purging items I no longer need. The struggle with that is that it’s never-ending and tough to do when a hoarder wants to bring it back into the house again. I’ll find the time. I always find the perfect time.
Day 420
Saturdays were my favorite as a kid.
I would wake up super early, make a big bowl of cereal and become entranced in the cartoons that reflected my silly innocence.
Now, I want to sleep for 20 hours straight and not have to do anything but watch a movie and talk to my beloved.
Today isn’t any different than the week that has passed. I tried to be more active outside on the weekend and took a short walk. Not much else to look forward to other than talking to my beloved numerous times a day, putting authentic smiles on my face each time. Tomorrow will be similar—just another day.
Day 421
Another good day to lie in bed. No real reason to get up other than to drink and eat something.
The only thing I look forward to is talking to the love of my life and feeding my kids. Tonight is meat and potatoes, and making it sound bland is on purpose. My cooking is an experience, and I won’t waste time describing it.
I have many tasks to tackle, actually, and it’s all very manageable if done with high intentions of completion and an overall feeling of accomplishment. It’s not a feeling I often try to replicate because feeling disappointment is necessary. Only some things can be fixed.
So much to do and all the time in the world to do it is a mindset I’ve just discovered.
Day 422
The cycle begins again, another week of the unknown presenting itself ass first.
Maintaining my momentum, restocking the kitchen, and completing a book is how today shaped itself up to be—no disappointments but the expected antagonistic behavior that keeps my skin clear. High hopes stir within me that the tools will be used wholly and not partly, but those things only happen to the lucky ones.
I am awarded the gift of warm light when I hear my love’s voice. I cannot describe this level of euphoria each and every single time. Pure.
Day 423
Soon the 30-day yoga routine I began will end, and I will have to choose another way of keeping this bag of bones stewed for sucking on. I’ll keep up with Adrianne because she’s cool as fuck. More cardio is needed for an alternate cardio day, and yoga should be a good start.
A day of cooking and creating is not a day wasted in my book.
Day 424
Seen upon the horizon, a thrown blanket-shaped heliotropic mist inchmeal in my direction. I want to understand why it is here. But I know it is here for me, and it is here for me to forget. To forget everything, ever.
Day 425
Today is a busy day. With only one task to complete, it will take a massive amount of stamina to power through. I have had unimaginable stressful days before, so this day will be a breeze in comparison.
Ideas were made, and laughs were had. All in a day’s work.
Day 426
With only two more days left in the yoga journey that I’ve chosen, I have to seek another activity that will give me what I need to maintain and become the desired shape I aim to be. The weekend is open for anything to happen, and I look forward to this.
It would be fitting to end the week with something good, but Fridays are meatless, and I already don’t have an easily accessible dick in my life is a slap in the face.
Day 427
I have found what I’m looking for as far as cardio and walking in place is the right stuff for me at the moment. It’s not complicated or easy, but just right. I sweat until I can sweat no more. Deciding how often I perform this activity is still being worked around. I am very happy to find something that doesn’t take up space or use equipment.
I spent the day trying to relax. I watched a movie after I forcibly broke the spell of not wanting to see a film on my own until I’ve completed the novelization of IT. It was enjoyable and not the most excellent movie, but better than not watching anything. My night concluded with an hour and a half of half listening to the book through a strong THC haze. I missed everything said about the turtle. All the more reason to listen to it again.
Day 428
Only a little going on today but listening to audiobooks and cooking up what’s inside the icebox.
Spring cleaning couldn’t come soon enough. I am in dire need of purging a lot of the kid’s things. Too many craft items serve no purpose since they’re getting bigger, and those things are no longer needed. It will all be done with great stealth while they’re in school.
I’m on the second day of the cardio workout and really like it. I can already feel parts of my body that needed the conditioning. I am left to decide how often I’ll do this during the week. Yoga won’t go on hold, nor will hyperbolic stretching.
Day 429
What does a workhorse do? Work, duh.
The usual was done today while listening to a chapter that turns out I didn’t sleep through. It was very refreshing hearing the description of a cum dumpster over again. I digress. I’m nearly complete with this novel, I cannot wait to rewatch both movies and the documentary made about it as well. It’s a challenging book to sit through for many reasons.
Nothing more to be done today once the bra is off.
Tomorrow is day thirty in my yoga journey!
Day 430
The shift in moods is becoming glaringly clear as of late. I woke up despondent and flat. There was nothing to justify this other than my mind making it true. It turned out to be that time of the month, and it reminded me how important my antidepressants were for curbing premenstrual symptoms. I have to rely on affirmations and the truth in front of me.
The end of the 30-day yoga journey was freestyle, which was okay. Tomorrow I go about jumping around to get loose. I’m keeping busy with things to throw away that really need throwing away. Completed a good portion, but I still have lots more to do.
Day 431
Another day of cleaning led to a superb ending. I was able to give all the books away for a good cause. I have such a small collection that to think of doing the same with mine would be a hard decision for me to make. If I had owned the paperback of “IT,” I’d give it away in a heartbeat. Or make it into a useful tool, like a footrest. Since I own the audiobook, there is no need for that. It was an interesting book, a 4-year-long journey that dove head first into a shallow pool. It went to raw and true places in the physical and metaphysical. Definitely one of the longest I’ve read. Aside from Dune, this was just under 45 hours of listening to the living hell these imaginary children experienced in an illusion of a town. A number of parts were uncomfortable to read, but the narration by Steven Webber was phenomenal. Stellar performance!
This morning’s early morning shuck and jive was great. I can see myself doing this often, combined with walking outdoors.
Day 432
I need to be more on the ball since I’m pressed for time in the morning. It’s all fun and games until I realize I have no time to drink my coffee quietly and not play games but collect the daily rewards for gift card points until the kids need to get up and get ready for school. There are a few preparations I can take to make the process quicker, I’ll test that out and see if that works.
Soon I will need to think of ways to stay busy during spring break. So dreadful. Not in the way you’re thinking. With no means of accessible transportation, the funds to provide that transportation, the people who’d want to be included in probable events availability, and lack of recourse in the type of event, I don’t look forward to being social. But I want my kids to have fun! I want us to do fun things without pressure to impress or accommodate anyone who thinks everything is about them. I told my oldest that if we lived in a warmer state, we’d go to the beach every day during the break. It could happen one day.
Day 433
The excitement of the week’s end made it out to be just like any other day. I did some light shopping at my usual spots and picked up some junk food and other food good for the tummy. It’s the second to last week of Lent, so tonight is shrimp scampi. Thankfully, it came out great.
Tonight is another night without him near, but over the phone makes him feel so near.
Day 434
Late getting up early on this gloomy day. April 1st, and even the weather’s got jokes. Rain in the morning, sun in the afternoon, and then rain again. If it weren’t for my Mother coming over, I probably would have gotten up later. Toning up is what I needed to do, so I did it a little late.
Only a little else planned for the night other than tuning into some good old-fashioned wrestling in this year’s Wrestlemania! It’s been a long time, and very happy to be watching tonight.
Day 435
I put on my Sunday best to do what I do best.
Jack shit. I did jack shit today because nothing is done on the Lord’s day. But seriously, the days ahead are unnecessary to prepare for ahead of time. Tonight is the second night of Wrestlemania, and I am looking forward to another night of an amazing show. I arranged for everything to be taken care of before the show started, and everything went smoothly.
Aches are back again! I look forward to this part because I know it will be all good from here on end. I know where my focus needs to be, and that has always been the lower half of me.
Day 436
On the move again! I never let pain stop me, and today I was in pain. It’s isolated to one spot, so it’s easy to manage. Getting in the habit of early morning cardio is getting easier too. More! More! More!
Glorious recap of last night’s live event; my Love attended Wrestlemania and got to see that whole spectacle in surround sound. A pinch of bitter mixed in with the sweet, but it was a great experience. I hope to share that and many other experiences in the future.
Day 437
It’s the second to last day until vacation begins, and I have no choice but to be ready for it. It’s here, and so am I.
The weather will be a mixed bag of it deciding whether it wants to be friendly. My time outside won’t be limited, but I need to perform productive tasks quickly to make me feel like I’ve done something. Waking up early again is good, and I need to remain to do that, even if I nap during the day. The time I have for myself in the morning is essential for me to get the things I want to be completed. It will all work out during this time at home.
The aches are easing up, and pushing through them is helping the recovery. After Wrestlemania weekend, I felt just as if I were sore with all the participants of the show. So enthralling to be watching again for the spectacled drama that it is and multitudes more entertaining when I have someone who loves the sport and can tell me all there is to know again.
Day 438
It’s an honorary Friday, as it is the beginning of Spring Break for the kids. Once home, one asked when we would be going on vacation. Then I explained that their Patér doesn’t like going on holidays very much, which is partly true. The insentient cannot stand to be around inanimacy. I cannot understand why some individuals have difficulty disconnecting when I find it so easy. But the fun will be had locally.
I found it challenging to get up this morning, other than feeling good to be under the covers. Alas, I was ready to take on the day, and I did my thing and got ready to do the other thing. THINGS!
Day 439
I contemplated not waking up early to exercise the first morning of break.
I wasn’t tired and felt I had gotten a good night’s rest. Getting out of bed was a reward because I always look forward to speaking to my other half. I got in a tremendously sweaty workout to get the blood pumping. Nothing is more strenuous than finding ways to actively be active for the sake of being active. While mentally preparing for running in place for thirty-second intervals, I began the second story of Paul Kersey and the aftermath of his vigilante adventures of purposely looking for shit in a new city while toning my tummy. The man has issues, and I got them too.
To start, I’ll get around to sorting out clothes I can finally say goodbye to. The time has come to minimize and consolidate because a big move will happen soon.
Day 440
The fact that it is actually Friday doesn’t flip any scripts in the rotation.
I planned to go outside with no goal but to drop off unneeded clothes in a drop-off bin and get a milkshake. The weather is still not the greatest, but I want the temperature to be a good match for consuming a creamy treat.
I washed a small batch of clothes, which I aim to do every day during the vacation. I exercised and listened to a few chapters of this and that to pass the time. This will be the trend for the next few days, so buckle up!
Day 441
Another day of getting this and that done with no apparent execution of a goal to be completed. I enjoy these days mainly because I get to be alone. Left alone, more like it. I’ll get more time like that tomorrow, with it being Easter.
Today clothes will be washed and the kids tended to; I have a date to look forward to tonight. Time spent with my favorite person cannot be measured within the scope that we’re familiar with. Indescribable and irreplaceable.
Day 442
Sunday, bloody Sunday.
Christ has risen just in time to eat my lamb chops.
Aside from the 3rd child being absent from the table, it was like any other day where I do whatever the fuck I want. Indoors.
Day 443
I stayed in today to rest up for the most fun I’ve had with my boys in a long time. The amount of stretching I need to do to get ready will be minimal. I can’t wait for tomorrow!
Day 444
Today’s events have been recorded and cataloged as a happy day for my sons. A true breath of fresh air for each of them to let go and be kids.
We went to the affirmed “Adventureland” on the Island of Long. It had been some time since I’d been there in my young adult life, and quite a lot had changed. Most notably, the fucking prices. A family of 4 would send $200 at the opening gate and absurdly more if you came with an empty stomach. Nothing was bitter at all within all of these facts. A hat was lost, and that was about it.
The rides were great; the lines were long but worth the wait. It made sense to get every cent out of your pass to the park and ride everything you could until closing time. We got on some rides more than once, which was one of the good highlights. I saw smiles and laughs and made concrete memories for my sons. I want to do so much more with the two of them before that look in their eyes, pristine smiles and big hearts become the happenstance of devious manipulation of this profoundly imperfect world.
Later in the evening, I got to talk to my love. I had sent a care package for him as a home-welcoming; I had put it together as he settled in and got his bearings. The thoughtfulness was concentrated and focused on internalizing my love for his mind and body. I felt my words jumbled up; I free-handed my thoughts for him and thought it unraveled at the end. He understood and made me fall in love with him even more. Rapture. Pure rapture.
Day 445
Sunny day! Sunny, sunny day!
Humping into the day sore as fuck from yesterday, I promised my sweet boys a sweet treat, and that was a milkshake from Smokey’s, a local burger and wings spot that rests in a part of town where food businesses don’t tend to stay long at. It’s unique to the area, and I can only hope for them that it lasts longer than the businesses that came before it.
The remainder of the day consisted of managing household expenses, rubbish, and applying to jobs that didn’t want to hire me. So much fun being an adult!
Day 446
Another slow start this morning. The workout was completed with a healthy amount of procrastination.
The mother came by today. I often put up my shields when she shoots her blasts of worry. They’ve become more undiluted within the past few years. Their intentions are meant well, but I can’t tell the whole truth to protect myself. Matters will straighten out in due time.
I spent the remainder of the day fighting for sleep. I’m blaming this one on allergies. Today’s temperature was nearly 90 degrees.
Day 447
It’s the end of the week and also the end of vacation. Not sad that it’s ending, but glad we were able to do things that have become lasting memories.
Today is going to be dedicated to me doing something new. It will not be big or small enough to be deemed insignificant but unique. My applying to jobs has continued, and the denials are a part of the process. I’ll take it every which way I can until I get something.
Day 448
Typical first day of a government-regulated day off for children. I spent a large portion of the day tending to my plants and finally getting to clean the fridge. It was better than I thought it would be. What would it be like? A test of my speed abilities that I have felt in recent years taken a slow turn. Ultimately, it all came together, and now I have a clean fridge. Now the pain of figuring out what to buy and cook for the week.
Other things done were my exercising, which had to be completed to start my day. I wouldn’t say I like that I put my mind in control of that one thing to deem that my day has begun when I get out of bed. My fear of becoming obese is nagging at me; even if I miss a day, it’s a nonsensical thought to cross my mind, and I just let it.
Other than that, I could relax for extended periods without any disruptions. My mind was deep in the thoughts of my boyfriend and how our conversation had ended the night before. It made me question my overall reasoning of being. I don’t exist for one but many, and I must remember that. He is very close to my heart, and I immensely love and care about him.
Later in the evening, we got to talk and watch a childhood favorite, “Sidekicks,” a film we both frequently watched in our youth. The sadness of the loss of the lead star Jonathan Brandis resonated with us. So young and troubled, and we even imagined going back in time to tell him not to commit suicide. My night ended better than I expected.
Day 449
Lazy last day, and I got out of bed at 11 am.
The boys did the same. It’s the last day of Spring Break, and I told them they’d feel it tomorrow, if even.
The day consisted of me not exercising due to a dehydration headache, and it’s standard on Saturday nights into Sundays. I laid there longer than I intended because I needed to answer a burning question that is always fresh on my mind and not often told. It feels like the more I think about it versus the experience, my mind makes me believe I’m making it up to answer for my poor decision-making.
Other tasks I’ll tackle will be reviewing jobs to apply to and typical things I’d do to pass the time.
Day 450
Back on the saddle again.
There are only so many more days of this until summer break begins. In this time of change, I seek it within my life as if it held the secrets of eternity.
Applying for jobs in my desired and safe field is becoming strange. It’s all a numbers game, as I have been told, and this is highly accurate. I was teased with the possibility of an offer that was too good to pass up, only to be rejected. I made the mistake of bringing this to my attention before bed. It stunned me a little, but I am not discouraged.
“Let’s meet in the middle.”
I’ve realized that I need to do more and work with all cylinders instead of coasting on fumes. I want to write, then I should write. I have admittedly not been doing that, and that has to stop.