Exorcising Demons With ID! Days 501 to 550
Day 501
I anticipated being in the pain I am today.
Waking up was easy, although I woke up near 1 AM feeling I’d had a full night’s rest when I went to sleep near 11 PM. I added 20 more minutes to my alarm, thinking I would need the rest. My body aches, but I was in good enough shape to get up and exercise.
The small shopping trip I’d go on this morning would make up for the work I didn’t do. I quickly changed my mind while walking back home. With my limited time on the floor, only part of my workout was completed. So I ate something and rested; I will do the second part shortly today.
Day 502
The start of a mini vacation of dropping off and picking up has begun today. I woke up at my normal wake-up times and lay in bed, trying to find comfort in my pain. It’s later in the morning, and I’ve had my water and am about to gulp down my second cup of coffee before I actually exercise for the day.
There isn’t much to tackle today. My goal is to watch movies and water my plants, all after I sweat to the conclusion of Who Censored Roger Rabbit.
Day 503
Not a bad start to the morning. Still some delay in getting up and on task, but I did it all before I lost my moxy. With the additional caffeine that I’ve incorporated into the beginning of my day, I was able to complete additional chores, all before my second cup of coffee.
The workouts are tough and long, but this is only for this week. Soon, I’ll perform a scaled-down routine that will help me manage my time better in the early morning hours. The pain that once was has subsided. Thankfully squats have entered the chat and want to show me what good things life has to offer.
Day 504
Getting up was a breeze this morning. The workout was normally sweaty and could be managed in the allotted time.
Not much else to tackle today. One more day away from this preview of the summer home to come.
Day 505
Rest. Rest. I finally got my rest.
I forced myself to skip today’s workout and get the needed rest and recovery. I’ll massage out all the big and small muscles to get ready for the 30-challenge that I’ll be doing every morning. In addition to the usual long-ass shopping excursion that I go on at the beginning of the week.
Day 506
Back on the saddle again!
Another week of doing what I do best, trying to stay alive.
The weather has plunged itself into a vortex of fuckall confusion where it should be nice and sunny, but instead, it’s overcast and humid with the guaranteed chance of rain brought upon by the wildfires in Canada and New Jersey. None of this broke my stride. I got up a touch earlier to sweat to an oldie, Babel-17, and perspire like the pig that I am to a smiling Romanian woman.
I like this road that I am on, fitness-wise. I’ve slipped dramatically in my food intake value because I tired quickly from my meal preparation chore. Not all of those habits have died hard, though.
Day 507
I can feel the change in the air. Thick with moisture from yesterday’s rain and overcast sky. This dank fucking basement is locked up tight from getting in any fresh air from outside that it feels like a crime. It is a crime.
I don’t feel like I got a good sleep, but my body feels differently. Early morning shuck and jiving are going well. Since the basement is the way it is, I feel like I’m burning more than I usually would under normal circumstances. Like a rhythmic dancer with anxiety.
Day 508
Today I am super charged up. More than yesterday, actually. I don’t know whether I should be okay with this feeling since I haven’t changed much in my routine other than the time I awaken. I have, though, increased my water intake by more than a liter. This is going through me violently, as expected. The added number of bathroom breaks will become less soon, but this phase sucks.
As you may have guessed, the earlier wake-up time leaves no room for dilly-dallying, and I get straight into it. They are doing what they’re meant to because they are short workouts. Right now, I am revamping the stage of my food consumption. Tuna is on the menu and not without the added special sides.
I got this.
Day 509
Set the day today to be a busy one.
I did my usual pain and gain in the early morning and then went shopping to prepare for the day’s events. I have to enjoy the time I have outside, where I can work at my own pace that never stands still. Tomorrow will be drastically different from today in many, many ways.
Day 510
I made it through the week with as little stress as possible.
This first week, the first five days of my “30-day Challenge,” is going well. The workouts are short and just right for my morning. I need time to cool down and have enough time to prepare to get the kids off to school. This could continue even when I find employment, at whatever fucking hours I’m given. I now better understand what I want to do as work outside my home and the lengths I’m willing to travel.
It still all sucks ass, very, very much.
Day 511
Fantastic day today spent with my two boys.
I almost skipped my workout today but knew I should push through, given the time I had to do it. After a while, it was completed, and I settled myself down for the remainder of the day to get to small tasks that I thought would keep me busy during this 3-day weekend. I still don’t eat properly, but that’s a minor kink in the chain. Contract work will begin soon on the lining of my uterus, so exercising will be a day-to-day thing once it starts. It’s not fun being sweaty and bloody.
Day 512
My rest day!
I hate that it has to be on Sunday or any day because, on this day mainly, I am limited from doing what I want to do inside the house. So most of the day will be spent on me, washing my hair, tending to my ugly face, and watching as many movies as I can.
Day 513
It’s soon the end of the school year, and on this national holiday, nothing much was done other than rest for the lackluster days that will be mostly spent at home, avoiding the elements that may come this way.
I continue strong with my 30-day challenge in the early morning, and my 4-liter water consumption has passed its constant pissing stage.
Day 514
Back to school for the remainder of the week with some light shopping to replenish the pantry. Since my water consumption has increased, the need to buy more and more water has become a weekly ordeal. It’s going great since I sweat most of it during my arm-waving and squatting seizure fits.
Day 515
Busy day ahead to prepare for the possibility of the basement flooding again. Seven to ten days of rain are predicted, and I can do nothing but get as much as I can off the floors and clean whatever textiles I can so we’re not entirely living like water rats. We’ll have to wait and see.
Day 516
Pain. That’s all I can think about today.
Yesterday’s laundromat trip reminded me that my biceps and triceps are weak as fuck. Pulling that wagon up hills in the equivalent of a mile made me feel an additional burn to the early morning workout. I trashed my eating schedule and barely ate anything good for me. So to reward my lack of control, I got wings and fries for dinner, which was more than enough for today’s lunch.
There are only three more days until the end of the school year, and I couldn’t be more happy. I look forward to finally finding a job of any kind to aid in my desire to consume the man I have so much love for. The want and need to connect with him in the flesh will come true soon.
Day 517
Finishing up what I needed more energy yesterday is on the menu. I did as much as possible before it was time to perform; I even had to add a little more pep in my step with the help of 200mg of “safe” caffeine that burned at the right temperature.
This morning’s workout was great. Worked extra hard to get the bigger muscles in their place.
Day 518
It’s the final Friday of the school year, and there isn’t much to do but wait until it’s all over.
The usual morning routine is still going as strong as it can go; squats are becoming more frequent, and I’m okay with that.
Day 519
Okay, truth time.
My time playing with edibles officially ended for the second time yesterday. It all started back up again with an error I had made sometime in May that fucked up my June and July intentions. I’m not disappointed in myself for this mistake. I’m just glad it’s over.
The day consisted of me fighting to sleep when it felt like the sleep that I need it out of just wanting to be absent from life. Things will be better tomorrow within that endeavor.
Day 520
Typical, sleepy, sad fucking Sunday.
The feelings are always the same on this day. I long for rest, which I get, but the lack of activity only constrained to my surroundings can be taxing. When I was younger, if I was bored, I would hop on the train and walk around the city, finding things to do at no cost to me. I want to do that now, but with kids and a very special someone on the other side of the country, it puts into perspective that I am so much smaller than I realize, and the things I truly want in life are going to take more work than I’m used to doing.
I rest today to start to work all over again tomorrow.
Day 521
I’m beginning to see improvements in my morning workouts.
And that’s great! I started off strong with routines that lasted for close to an hour, down to impactful under-30-minute bodyweight exercises that left me drenched. I most certainly will be keeping this up and have no reason to stop unless time stops itself.
Day 522
Last day of the school calendar year. In the past, this day was more dreaded than embraced as a break because there were things that I enjoyed doing in leisure that hindered my time alone during the day. Now, I don’t have that issue since I am searching and anticipate attaining a job to support myself and help get me out of my current situation. I intend to travel and see the love of my life while traveling with my kids to places they’re looking forward to visiting. All in due time and copious patience.
Day 523
I won’t take a break from my early morning routine for the first day of summer break for a damn thing.
It’s easy to find things to do while I’m home since I now have more time to do whatever needs to be done, which will free me from specific time constraints. It’s all a process. Truly a process I wish I didn’t have. Sometimes I wish it were easier to let go of certain things that either bring no joy or have a grip on my psyche that makes me believe it will be needed for some unforeseen moment in the future. The mind is fucked up in that way.
Day 524
A touch of a late start this morning, but I got my ass up to sweat to an oldie (an old podcast) and feel the energy to take on the day. The hunt for employment at a place that’s a good fit for me is still a thing. I look forward to that challenging part of my life. Becoming a success always has its challenges. It’s just how you approach it.
Day 525
A typical day that I wish I could be doing something else, somewhere else, with someone else.
The workouts are going at a steady pace that has no reason to be increased at this moment and time. The weather is becoming increasingly hot and humid, an air that bleeds into this nasty ass basement like stank on shit.
Day 526
Today is Money In The Bank!
Aside from my usual sweaty mcsweaty bullshit, I get to spend the afternoon having a good ole time watching wrestling with my favorite person in the whole world!
Day 527
Lazy Sunday with time to relax and sleep in for a little bit.
I made plans and kept to them, taking a trip to the market to save myself the time and stress of the overload of shopping I would do in one trip. It’s good because I get to take my time. Taking my time is wise, with the weather being outright unbearable. I welcome it because I did skip a day on Friday. A day of rest is a day of rest, and I can pick whichever day I choose.
Day 528
It’s the 4th of July Eve, and I completed whatever heavy loads were necessary while home with my food machines.
The 30-day challenge that I’m doing is nearly complete. Surprisingly, it has a ton of squats, which is perfect since I hate them with a passion. The creator’s variety is great, so as not to make you hate them so much. The next one is longer and involves more walking movements, something I look forward to very much.
Day 529
Freedom on this early day of independence in New York is wet and soggy like my workout clothes.
I’m glad I don’t have to be outside during imposed gatherings of smoke and spirits. Raining colors of national pride when the cost of living increases yearly, and innocent blood is spilled each day and cast aside. We’re history repeating itself, smiling to hide the pain of living. For some, it’s a time to bond with family and friends. Growing up, I bonded by forming para-social relationships with characters on television and in movies. My friends weren’t real. Celebrate however you see fit, but for me, it’s just another day on the calendar.
Day 530
There’s no better feeling than getting up in the morning, releasing my bladder, and putting on my workout clothes, dried from the perspiration from yesterday. The decay of sweat that saturates the threads excretes a scent I would only compare to the rotting scent of a flower, freshly cut, pheromones screaming in agony. I welcome this attack on my senses. It serves as a reminder that I’m as imperfect as everyone else.
You’d be shocked at how much I can take.
Day 531
Getting better at getting up and doing what needs to be done. I have been starting out a little late, but it is not too late to make it a drag. I can feel the heat within moments of starting. It helps.
My current book to listen to while exercising is Queen of the Damned. It’s a wonderful series, and I know it gets better as it goes along.
Day 532
Hard to get up this morning because of some gastrointestinal issues. My body is telling me something, and I need to listen better. The ache almost put me out, but I did my workout.
Today was when I needed a cleanse, and I ensured I got a full one. From head to toe, I got to work. Summers at home are rough, for many reasons. I make the best of what I have and what I can do with what I got. I know better things for me, and my kids are on the horizon. Work is being done to achieve this.
Day 533
Still aching from yesterday, I made sure I got my ass up to do what was needed. The workout, as always, was great. Along with the words of a fantastic writer of a story so beautifully put together, it made it all a breeze.
Other tasks tackled today were basic household chores that had to be completed outside of the house. I got to take a short walk and get some needed steps in. The weather is as gross as it can be for this time of year, but I won’t let that stop me.
A new adventure awaits, something I look forward to doing with the love of my life that will lead to a more sustainable future. The are some stresses that I am going through that could be managed better. The pressure to perform is what is weighing on my psyche more than ever before.
Day 534
Sunday, less blood.
Resting days like these are bittersweet at times for me. I like the darkness, and I do get that on these days, and these days only. I wake up at the same time as usual and have the time to talk to my best friend in the world. I get to sleep longer, uninterrupted, but I still have my maternal duties to do, so that is a limited-time luxury.
It’s hard to put my mind at ease with the unknown when all I can do is wait and come what may.
Day 535
Last night I slept so well that it was a guarantee that today was going to be a great one.
I’m progressing in the third book by Anne Rice while doing my exercise routine, which will have added extra movements throughout the day with me beginning employment. After over a decade of being home, I finally landed a job that’s very close to my home. I have the love of my life, Kenny, to thank for this support. He has been an enormous help to my confidence and recognition of my worth. He has given me so much joy and encouragement to “strike that motherfucker out” in each interview I’ve had to take on. I hope I am the same for him for any and all challenges he may face and that we can take on just about anything. We are warriors of the human spirit!
Day 536
This morning was like any other, except it was the last day I would ever be able to nap without a care in the world after the fatigue of working out.
Tomorrow begins my journey back into the working world. I don’t know what to expect, but I’m ready to face anything!
Day 537
The mind is a strange, strange creature of contrivance.
I awoke multiple times throughout the night as if I would be late on my first day. I lay in bed, as per usual, after my first alarm went off. Then I begin the routine that I’ve grown accustomed to. I was gifted a call from my beloved, such a sweet sentient being he is, wishing me the best.
I timed it all out perfectly. It’s always good not to be late on your first day. And what a long first day it was. There are routines I have to get used to, as expected, and many names with faces I will get used to. My caffeine intake surely needs to increase. Any moment I felt that I wasn’t learning something, I wanted to fall asleep. There has to be a name for that. Tomorrow will be more of the same, I gather. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that. And so on.
Day 538
Second verse, same as the first.
I’m getting accustomed to my routine and I’ll be fine from here. I can take on any challenges that come my way because I have support from my friends, especially my dearest love, to keep me going with positive words and reassurance that I am truly a gift.
I got to record with my besties after a week’s break, and it was a great time, as always. We talked about 1974’s Liz Taylor life story.
Day 539
Friday! I look forward to the extra sleep I’ll be getting along with the cooking, cleaning, shopping, writing, TV watching, and chatting with my boo, which I always do, whether I have a 9 to 5 or not.
The workouts are still going strong. The pools of sweat are beginning to have no taste (yes, I taste them), and that means my body is purging very well all the bad shit that tends to collect from time to time. I wish I didn’t have to go shopping, but it’s what I do, and I do it the best.
Day 540
Today, I made sure I rested. I did get an hour extra sleep, but I could have done what I usually did: get up and work out. I knew I had a long day ahead with the shopping I needed to do. The weather was disgusting, as usual. I gather I would have been fine if I exercised, but why push myself to that limit when I’m already going at a great pace?
Day 541
Rain. Thankfully not the Devil kind.
Today is a fucking soggy bummer, and the only good thing about it is that I get to have that kind of sleep that comes with rainy days. Operating on brunch hours, setting up this and that to get ready for tomorrow, and cooking what needs to be cooked.
Tomorrow is the first full week, and I am excited for what’s to come. It’s best to go with the flow rather than bracing yourself for unpredictable currents.
Day 542
Last night, I went to bed later than expected and felt as if I had gotten no sleep whatsoever. That all changed once I actually got up and exercised. I felt as refreshed as I usually feel with 5 hours of sleep.
The 30-day challenge that I began has one more day to go, and then I’m on to marching in place, multiplying my step count dramatically than what it’s been for the past month on a daily basis.
Day 543
I’ve completed the 30-day challenge! It honestly wasn’t all that challenging, so I am sticking to her videos. They’re simple, timed right, and it’s a great fit for my schedule.
Working has been working out well too. I’m learning new things that keep me busy during the day. I can’t complain about the atmosphere. I have never met a group of fine people.
Day 544
Baby Jane Hudson must have broken into my house last night and beat the shit out of me in my sleep because I did not feel like getting up this morning. The rest was so heavy in my eyes that it was too good to say goodbye. If it were another day, not Wednesday, I would have laid there a few more hours. But I have to do what I have to do.
Today kicked off my Tabata step workouts. Not too crazy about this style because it doesn’t get me in the power mode I was in with the previous challenge, but work is work. I won’t miss the fucking squats! Taking a break from those is good from time to time. Stretching out my hips is important to perform daily, regardless.
Day 545
The week is almost over, and it was just getting over that hump that was hard. I felt a smidgen better than yesterday. I wake up to an almost turned-around workout playlist that I feel is playing tricks on me. It’s just the moderator updating routines to match the current style. It’s all good. The workouts are still good.
One more day until the weekend!
Day 546
Good Friday got that name because I was there to fucking kill it.
Like all days, it fucking dragged. I had a tiny mishap with ink transferring from my shirt to my bag strap to my newly worn shirt, and I took it in stride. I was warned by the shirt label that would happen; it’s just that my sweaty ass forgot.
I’m beginning to enjoy the marching or running-in-place routines because it gives me more to work off during the day. The humidity sucks and helps my effort to bring down my metabolic age. I’ll be 41 in due time, and my body can be what it is now. Thankyouverymuch.
Day 547
My head is in the “not a cold and not quite allergies” state, where I have soreness from post-nasal drip and sinus pressure that isn’t debilitating but an annoyance. This was evident beginning a few days prior; I remedied it with salt water and tried not to talk as much. Now it’s wait and see.
I looked forward to the weekend and getting some added rest before I took on whatever I thought needed to be done today around the house. Mostly movies will be watched today, and creating a shopping list.
Day 548
Another day to sleep in is not a day to complain about.
The pains of yesterday of eased some, but I can only get as much rest as my surroundings allow. Today will be a day. Mostly with preparation and dread.
Day 549
Back at all of it. Work, working out, working out things, and things to work out.
My sinus bullshit has turned into a head cold-like bullshit with an earache. What the actual fuck? It’s not as bad as it sounds. It just sucks. I’m still kicking ass and taking names, as usual.
Day 550
It was hard to get up today. I don’t get enough sleep, and I don’t think I will ever get the sleep I need in my life now. There are limits that I’m restricted to and not enough time in the day to do them. I feel okay to function like a normal human during the day, so that echo of denial reverberates through my head.
My head is still the way it is, big as hell. And stuffy in circulated air areas, so tomorrow’s trip will be a trip.