More Internal Than External Part 4

Pt. 4 – No Way

The last class of the day finally comes, my favorite class-Guitar. I always loved music and everything about it. The beats, the melodies, the truth ness behind them. I can say up until this day, music has kept me alive. My music teacher, Mr. Bero was a little eccentric and hyper when it came to teaching us guitar, but it’s what makes us good. “Hello, how are you all doing today? Good I hope!” he said smiling. As we went through the daily routine of taking attendance and the process of getting our guitars, the day went by even quicker. I longed for the bell to ring for home. “Today the guitar players are going to play ‘Buffalo Gals,’” said Mr. Bero, with great excitement. I played it like it was nothing; it was the only class I passed, that’s why I liked it so much. I zoned out and did my own thing on my guitar after he was done testing me. I constantly gazed at my watch to see if it finally set its hands on “2:10”. It was time to pack away our guitars and head for home. Two minutes to the bell, at last I’ll be free.

When the last bell of the day rang, it was a mad rush to get the hell out as fast as you possibly could. I already had my jacket and had no homework to take home. “Great. Now I can sleep until 6:30.” I said to myself smiling insanely down the street toward my bus stop, where as always greeted by the same people that also waited for the bus. “Hey Moses” I said to one of them. “Hey Chris” he responded back. I walked passed him to stand in my usual spot to wait for the bus. I put on my headphones immediately at my resting place. I turned it on; “Dirty” was still playing. “My head, bye myself, all alone. Ripping my hair out. I hurt so bad inside, I wish you could see the world thought my eyes, it stays the same. I just wanna laugh again…” I closed my eyes and felt every word of that song as if it were stabbing me through the heart, in a way it really was. Tears were still present and quickly mustered to fall on my face, but I quickly wiped them away. “The day is over, you’re not needed any more!” I said to myself, no less above a whisper.

 The bus finally came to take me home, I was even happier that I had gotten a seat for my long journey. I played Korn full blast the hole time. I didn’t care if anyone didn’t like it, I did and that was all that mattered. I wasn’t to far from my house now and the song that created it all was the closer to my usual day. It was “No Way”.

 …To live this way

Hating

Feeling

Falling

To the place where people haut me

I can’t help but keep from falling

To the place where people call me

I can’t wait to give them these feelings of hating

Keeping inside me for all to take

Picking at me

They’re ripping at me

Ripping at me……….

The end…there was never an ending to begin with…