TONIGHT!: Live Fast, Die Young, Leave A Terrifying Corpse

Do you like clowns?

I never hated clowns. The contextual history behind the lifestyle is complex and not of any real value to many since they’re just straight-up terrified of them. I fit myself to be a jester, a sort of a clown. But the difference behind this Pagliacci-looking ass hoe is that he’s just plain nuts. Like, he’d cut open both inner and outer labia to reveal your female undescended nuts. If you’ve lived fast and died young, this mother will leave you with a terrifying corpse.

I was between 6 to 10 years old, and someone put it in their fucking mind to say, “Hey! Let’s give Mandry a clown doll the same fucking size and look like the doll from the movie ‘Polterguiest’ that wrapped his arms around CarolAnne’s bigger Brother and almost dragged him into hell! She’ll love it”! I didn’t. I fucking didn’t. Jinx lasted two days in my house until he was first banished into the toybox and then the trash. I didn’t want him killing my family first.

Art the Clown on the other hand, quite literally came out of nowhere, just like Jinx. I watched Terrifier first before All Hollows Eve (Suggested by @nicks_new_wave_video on Instagram), and even then, Art in that movie did not explain the Clown’s background. In all seriousness, do we need to find a reason why a MAN in a clown costume is killing people? Fear has a face, and he found the perfect face. Plus, he’s an artist. You know how that goes.

Terrifier starts like all the nightly drunken escapades I took in my 20s but split me in two because I had no “girl-friends” to dress scandalously (on purpose) to go to Halloween parties that I was never invited to. They make a stop at the open late pizza parlor to get a slice, and Art does some shit to make himself unforgettable. As if he was already unforgettable.

This beginning a night of unrelenting terror by an absurdly patient and sociopathic individual who kinetically performs acts of violence as service to an entity only known to him. If you love crazy, especially unexplained crazy, you’ll love Terrifier. I did!

Check out All Hollows Eve too! I’ll talk about that one later!

Available to watch on Amazon Video and Tubi