Exorcising Demons With ID! Days 701 to 750
Day 701
And sleep I did. Until 1:30 p.m. in the afternoon. I wanted to be there longer and let the 100mg do its magic. But other things had to be attended to. The day isn’t over yet and I can’t wait to celebrate Christmas with the boys.
Day 702
Christ! What a day.
After opening presents with the boys, I decided to go on a short excursion. I took my high ass to Main Street and got roasted duck and roasted pork to have for dinner. I would have gone out anyway to play my lottery for the week because there would be a drawing tonight. I made sure I did lots of walking. Even the useless walking I did to the closed mall. I planned on playing my numbers at that spot because I had been lucky several times. Oh well. Back to home to shoot the shit.
Day 703
Today I will try and wake up at 4 a.m. again tomorrow. Yeah. I know. As I was lying in bed, I thought about it, so it’s best I write it down now so I don’t forget. Now I’ve got to do it.
Day 704
I did it! Sort of. I didn’t get up, only to drink a bottle of water and lay back down. Like a trail run. A little practice test. It seriously won’t be long now. I am getting pudgy, and I don’t fucking like it. My diet doesn’t suck, and I gotta need for the pain from the gain. I think my body has the natural energy it should have since I stopped drinking energy drinks. There is no reason I shouldn’t get back at it. Bring. It. On. All. Or. Nothing.
Day 705
One more day before another short break before the new year.
Work has been experiencing a short lull in activity but that is on purpose. I’m sure the return to madness will break my spirit once again.
Day 706
Yes! Finally. And today is a short one because of reasons. My waking up at 4 a.m. habit stopped as fast as it started. I am amped up to exercise. To sweat, question reality, and why I need to keep doing this to myself. I am going to be 40 and weight issues are something I don’t need to deal with going into that stage. The new year will be very different from this one by a long shot.
Day 707
Today was not the day I had in mind. I was going to probably clean, wash clothes, get astronomically high, and watch 4+ hours of pay-per-view wrestling. I only got to do one of those things and it was the best time of my life. Spent time with good company, with a ton of laughs and booze to match. It was heaven, where nothing really happened.
Day 708
It’s the eve of a year I could give less than a shit about.
Day 709
Slept most of yesterday away to give me the energy to do all things I fucking hate doing. Cleaning was the biggest chore, aside from cooking. I made sure to make it up with a day filled with movies. First, it was Shin Godzilla, then Cocaine Bear. Next was The Pope’s Exorcist, and last was All Quiet On The Western Front. The night before, we did watch Of Mice and Men, one I hadn’t seen since I was in high school. Days like that need to happen so much more often than not. They have no reason not to happen.
Day 710
Get up and go! Lol, nope. That didn’t happen. I could have, but I decided against it. I think I might have my flow coming, and I don’t want to start exercising with it going simultaneously. Once it ends, then I will begin.
Day 711
I called it! Finally, the one thing I get about my body isn’t working against me. Nothing has inspired me more than watching wrestling to get back in some kind of decent shape. I did, however, get encouraging news from my scale. I have lost a significant amount of weight and can now fit into a size 10. I’m gassed and ready to explode.
Day 712
This feels like a kind of torture.
I’m holding myself back from the pain I desperately crave, and it’s fucking bothering me. That’s a good sign. In a few days, there will be hell to pay.
Day 713
Not sure what I have in store for the coming weekend. All I know is that I’ll be getting the relief and rest that I deserve in 48 hours. An update on my knee: it’s better. I assume it was excess water or just not doing anything, I suspect. There won’t be any debates made about it over the seista.
Day 714
I made sure to do the cleaning I intended to do for the new year. I have sorted out a few things, although I wanted to throw out tons more. My main goal was to unearth photos to show the kids, but I decided to save them for when company came over for proof that I’m not an absent-minded, selfish prick of a mother. Despite that, I had a productive and relaxing day. I finished Heat 2 and started a puzzle. I’m just a whirlwind of excitement.
Day 715
It’s on days like these I can make up for lost time. Sleep in and then drag my ass around, picking up then put down tangibles that serve a momentary molecular purpose. I completed an impossible puzzle and began a new book inspired by a character in Heat 2. It’s veering me off my journey to read books in my book club but I’m allowed to do what ever the fuck I want. Part of that freedom is finally sitting down to watch Once Were Warriors, the best depressing movie ever made in the 90s. There were drops of my non-fiction told on screen that was more emotional than physical; the acting was superb. What touched me the most is how the connection between oneself and your roots could be wasted if you’re not reminded that you were born resislent. It almost ruined my Sunday. Until I made steak.
Day 716
It’s Monday. Nothing more to add to that.
Day 717
I made sure to get what I needed to get done yesterday to give away something that brings together the bigger picture.
My intentions of starting early have fizzled. I’ve not given up on it, but for now, I have to plan. Watch that stick figure flexible mime flop around to house music to inspire me. My diet is becoming a challenge. Not challenging, but a challenge.
Day 718
Hump day should have actual humping at some point during the day.
The only hump at the moment is me, being a humping lump of shit and getting bloated once again. I’m not in the greatest of humbling moods. The work that needs to get done within myself and the work that needs to be done at home makes me detach more than I’m comfortable with. Rest is in short supply as of late.
Day 719
All was quiet on the Thursday front. I made it through another day.
Day 720
My imagination is starting to become my enemy, making things that could have life breathed into them, knowing they will never be. The truth of the matter is that I am lonely, more so than ever before. I know this feeling will pass, as it always does, but why must it always come with the crippling realization that it’s forever true. I will always be fat. I will always be ugly. I will always be stupid. I will always be alone.
I need a painful distraction.
Day 721
Nothing beats the beginning of a three-day weekend where I’m set to do minimal work and just vibe. A little cleaning here and there was done, but I mostly did what I set out to do. I went forward in the efforts of putting together a puzzle that was poorly made; I have never come across a project where I had extra pieces from the borders alone. Anyway, it didn’t win the grand prize that it held, so I plan on moving on to my Secret Santa gift. As far as my night goes, it’s 3 magnificent hours of wrestling tonight.
Day 722
Lovely Sunday. I slept until 1 p.m., washed one load of clothes, only had to make sides for dinner, and I got high as a fucking kite. The day was spent mostly in the company of the kids and me beginning The Lines. It has odd pieces and is lettered on the back for easier assembly. I’ll be done with that in a few months at the rate I’d get to it. The time for shucking and jiving it near.
Day 723
Busy Monday in store today. After my appointment, I went all kinds of shopping and managed to get it all done before coming home. An afternoon of knitting and listening to books is my only solace before returning to work tomorrow.
Day 724
Well, today was the day. I got my ass up and faced it all with a workout that will kickstart the first few weeks of pain and gain. I like working out when the weather is colder. I don’t feel like I started too late; it was all a matter of will. The program I decided to go with is a weekly routine for 2024 that consists of 2 videos a day that do the usual arm swinging, squatting, and kicking high enough to swipe the leg. No effects of it will be felt today. Tomorrow…
Day 725
Holy shit, YES!
My hammies and quads are fucking pissed at me. I knew all this time that it would be a struggle and with the snow and ice here, an even bigger struggle maintaining my balance to avoid injury. Today was short because the routine is designed to be 2 a day. I’m not gonna go hard out of the gate. I know I’ve said this before, but squats need to be done daily. It’s crazy how that one motion can cripple you if you put them on the shelf. I can say, “I’ll do this” and “I’ll do that,” but in the end this bitch is going to do whatever.
This week is dragging its ass. Watching wrestling tonight will be a good distraction for the other two days ahead.
Day 726
It was a little hard getting up this morning. Comfort had to do with it mostly. Being in a cold room under a warm blanket does not need further explanation. It was done, and I felt good at the end of it. Since it was the longest I had to do since beginning again, every moment was agony, and I deserved it all.
The workday, however, was more of a challenge. Completed, nonetheless.
Day 727
Wow, almost fucked myself today. There was that voice in my head saying that it was Friday and staying in bed and skipping this day was necessary. I already knew how this was going to end. I popped up at the 2nd alarm at 4:15, drank my water, and got to work. This time, the video was a short one. The weekend will be all rest, possibly along with Monday. Since I began on an odd day, giving myself an additional day will cause me to lose interest and feel that rest is more important. I know what my goals are, and I will reach them.
Day 728
Cold ass fuck today. It’s January; what the hell else was I expecting? I am looking forward to it, just not the cold. Looking forward to the excitement in their faces and the great time we’ll all have. Once home, it’ll be movies until Collision comes on.
Day 729
I didn’t get to sleep as long as I wanted. I had a long list of Mom things to do. Then, as the day quickly turned into night, the mental reminders that tomorrow is Monday made me a little sad, but not sad enough to listen to Helter Skelter.
Day 730
Mondays are part of the rest days. Thankfully, Ragdoll Anna has videos that are less than 5 minutes to get the body moving. The effort is being made, and I look forward to this round of results in my new approach. Intermittent fasting has entered the chat, and I feel like I’ve already been doing this without any guidance or pattern. Water consumption is the same, ingested in smaller doses and spread throughout the day. I’m excited about this; this is a long time in the making. The days of not getting my ass up to sweat are over!
Day 731
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
It was an all-arm routine that didn’t do much, but part of the show. Taking a peek at what is to follow, they’re just going to get longer and longer. That’s the action I’m looking for. Although this is what I need to do, I am not looking forward to the next round of clothes shopping I’d have to do because of my impending weight loss. Overall, it’s for my health, and as I approach 40, getting in shape will get more difficult due to some physiological factors that may be beyond my control. It’s all up to me and what I do to get there. The main point is that I’m getting there.
Day 732
Hells bar-bells.
Mixing it up with weights and leg work this morning was good. I don’t take it to 5th gear, but I got down. The middle of the week means absolutely nothing. But it’s a clear path to the weekend. Last night was a blur as I watched a horrible Nazi-latent animated movie that was obviously made as a joke to someone. Whatever my birthday torture is, I’m glad it’s not this!
Day 733
I knew I’d miss this. I miss waking up early and doing this thing that slowly improves my body. My mind is gone, but I’ve got this body. Slow and steady is how I’m taking it all.
Day 734
The most anticipated day of the week! It also concludes my workout week. Four days isn’t a bad deal. I do this little ditty on Monday to loosen up this gelatinous vessel. It’s also Rampage night. I look forward to those nights with the boys.
Day 735
Sleep late and clean. That’s what this day is for as of late. I can’t complain. Nothing multiplied by a thousand will be done tomorrow.
Day 736
I don’t lie about things like this. Absolutely dick and a half was done today. With it raining outside, why the hell would I want to do anything? The latest book has been a huge debbie downer and doesn’t encourage me to listen while performing tasks. The good thing is that I’m nearly done with it, just like this Sunday.
Day 737
I awarded myself some added rest to begin the work week. My prep work before my walk is getting tight. I space out way too much that I care for. A reflection of that followed me into my evening. Since I skipped my big shopping schedule, I made it home with that hour and a half to spare. To make good use of my time, I watched a movie and took enough edibles to put me to sleep no matter what I engaged in. It’s Monday, not much else goes on anyway.
Day 738
I almost did it. I almost stayed in bed longer than I should have for no reason other than not wanting to get the hell up. As a fitting punishment, my workout was nearly an hour long. I thought it was one when it was another. Serves me right. I did it all, so what if I got it wrong? The day was equally as long and punishing.
Day 739
Got up like my life depended on it and got busy spazing out on the floor. I’ve got a strange feeling that my head will be in a serious fog for the next few days.
Day 740
Damn, and on the first day of black history month!
My allergies have stirred up some of it’s usual bullshit. The only positive that of this comes in a big ass sloppy burger with onion rings. There is nothing better than eating like a mess when you’re life is an even bigger one.
Day 741
Congestion is in full effect today. Fuck, this sucks. Getting up to exercise isn’t the biggest challenge. I still manage to breathe without any problems and get to the nitty-gritty. I’m looking forward to the weekend rest, or getting a break from my gurl. I’m at the end of the second week of routines, and the last day is a long one. The decision to do it over the weekend is in the air.
Day 742
Feeling like shit comes naturally to me.
Saturdays are perpetually devoted to doing cleaning that I do not want to do. As it got done begrudgingly, I went through sneezing fits and epic mouth-breathing monologues that I could not wait to lie down. All of that had to wait until I got my Collision fix. It was a fantastic show. A little bummed out I couldn’t co-watch it, but tis life.
Day 743
Lots of decisions to make today.
And all of them I stuck with and finished. I washed clothes, did my hair, got the kids cleaned up, decided what needed to be cleaned from the fridge, went shopping, prepared what I deemed important for tomorrow, and finally sat down and watched something. The most important thing that I look forward to tomorrow is finally finishing Dianetics.
Day 744
Today, I’m taking it easy. It’s getting close to bleeding time and even though that won’t stop my morning routine, it takes more time for me to get myself gathered for the day. No sense in griping about it. Just do it.
Day 745
Well, shit. I knew it was going to be up to an hour-long dancy dance that I couldn’t get away from met me hard after getting up late as fuck for dumb human reasons. The fun I have doing this is worth it. Especially when I begin a book so entwined with my childhood that, as stated in the introduction, I could not put it down. It’s been a long time since I’ve finished a book in a day, let alone an audiobook. I’m not sure what comes next; keep them coming!
Day 746
Last night, I drifted off the last hour of the book, so I relistened to it while I dripped blood and sweat for forty minutes. There is nothing more satisfying than finishing a good book and doing weighted squats. A Brief History In Time should bring some gravity to my reality.
Day 747
I don’t know what I did to deserve this. To deserve this hot fucking body.
I got up, did a little shimmy, and now I’m at work holding it the fuck together. I’m happy the day passed well enough for me to enjoy recording tonight.
Day 748
Stank bitch. Who knew that I’d wake up a stank fucking bitch.
I actually didn’t but it felt that way. Vibes were felt. Whatever. It’s all stupid anyway.
Day 749
Made the split decision to go out to see a movie. The time it would take to travel there was an issue for me, but I made it all work out in my favor. I miss the city and it’s city bullshit. The city girls and the city boys. The city’s lost and the city’s open wounds. I went to a part of the city I have honestly never been to. The weather was perfect for the amount of walking I needed to do to kill time before my showtime. I wouldn’t mind going to that location again, it was cool.
Day 750
As quickly as the sun rises, it sets and there isn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I begin another dreadful week of work when I could be doing a thousand other things.
Exorcising Demons With ID