TONIGHT!: It’s Not Easy Being Hellmaster

The feeling you get when you know you won’t like a movie right from the start is terrible. For instance, when the movie has two re-stupid ass names. Is it “Hellmaster” or “Them”? I Kant with John Saxon and his antics! It’s not easy being hellmaster!

Homelessness begins as the issue given to a group of college students; to provide an honest opinion on how they would solve it. It reminded me of my college years, where I watched “Stand and Deliver” in advanced calculus and smoked weed in the parking lot. So I solved a problem or two there too.

Lots of strange shit goes on along with the community theater acting. Bless their 1990s horrid style hearts and their dreams in making it big. Don’t bet on any of it making a lick of sense to the plot. All of them were phoning this one the fuck in.

One of the best line exchanges took place very close to the end of the film, and to me, it was worth it:

Shelly: “Don’t leave like this, Drake! Splitting up gets people killed!
Drake: I am scared shitless!
Shelly: Please, Drake! Please!

The makeup and effects were good in my book, but damn, that acting was not worth the loot in an unlocked vending machine full of Pepsi Clear. So many actors who looked like other people too! You have Jerry Orbach, Sam Waterson, Katy Perry, Dax Shepard, Clint Howard, and John Saxon! Wait that is John Saxon. You want hell, then watch Hellmaster.

Available to watch on Shudder and Tubi TV